And the EYES have it

Okay, after reading Liz’s post below, I went through my MS and here’s what I found.
:)

My eyes were glued to the hottie in uniform.
I fumbled around the door until I found the button, my eyes never left his. Holy Cow.
I kept my eyes down, too scared to look up.
His eyes penetrated mine.
His piercing eyes swam in that knee-weakening smile.
Andrew’s eyes shot daggers through me, as he looked me up and down.
His eyes still scaled my body, and he didn’t look discussed with what he saw.
He hasn’t taken his eyes off of you since he came in about five minutes ago.
His eyes longed for me.
I noticed several pairs of eyes on me.
“What? That call sucked. He was going for the ball. Eyes on ball means no pass interference you stupid refs.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, his eyes screening the woods.
He glared, looking at everyone, but his eyes settled on Vincent.
His eyes were troubled.
I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
My eyes locked to his, and I felt as if all the blood from my head pooled in my stomach.
His eyes smoldered.
His eyes studied my legs before finding their way back to mine.
He eased in front of me, his eyes softened.
His eyes locked on mine.
Turning slowly, my eyes shifted to him.
His eyes were back on me.
His black eyes were laced with danger and longing.
My eyes didn’t leave Andrew’s.
My eyes traced his muscular arms.
He lifted my face so my eyes would meet his.
Andrew’s eyes smiled at me.
His jaw flexed and his eyes burned. I couldn’t believe how sexy he was.
Her eyes became cold.
When he came to a stop, he finally turned to me, his eyes angry, scared.
I would’ve known if he had, my eyes never left him.
His eyes danced.
His eyes jumped around and he wouldn’t look at me.
The next day at school, all eyes were on me.
His eyes almost bugged out of his head.
His eyes sought forgiveness.
I looked at Vincent; his eyes danced with excitement.
James asked, his eyes smiled and his voice calmed me.
I shrugged, keeping my eyes on that car.
Andrew’s eyes bore into mine.
I couldn’t find it in me to take my eyes off her.

So back to the question at hand. Is this wrong? It can’t be taken literally, but since we know it’s figuratively, does it stand? You tell us.

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1 Comment so far
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Exactly my point in Liz’s comments. I am sure you could find a different way to put it, but are you writting to a young adult audience or to a college professor?

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