I’ve felt his presence almost every day since that dreaded one in middle school.

He watches over me, but not too closely. Enough to make sure I’m safe, but he doesn’t hover. I’m allowed my own decisions. My own errors.
But, no matter what happens, I know he’s there for me. He loves me.

I really never knew him. Wasn’t allowed to. Was too young before he got sick, and then once he did, well…. Parents can be overprotective. Leave it at that.

But even worse than being overbearing is not being there at all.
Richard understands this. He feels my pain. I hope he never felt it himself, in his earthly life. If he did, it would explain why he has taken over my father’s place.

He is a kind soul. It’s true I didn’t know him well then, but I’m sure I do now. I know his spirit.
And that’s what matters, right? Souls, spirits, whatever you want to call them. It’s not the body a person is in. That’s not who they truly are.

He was many things to many people, while in his body. A son, a brother, a lover, a friend, an artist. And on and on.

But to me, he’s an angel. Any past mistakes on this earth did not stay with his spirit. They were burned. Destroyed, as they should have been. The remains of both his body and his faults turned to ash and now I have the best part of him.

I’m sure he visits others. His presence comes and goes. I’ve no clue who else he sees, but I do know they are lucky. I sure am.

He has become my lion within. My Lion of Stone.
He’s given me the strength to be gentle to my child, yet ferocious to others when the need arises. I have the will of a lioness—never giving up.
I am gentle, sweet, and loving. I am also a force to be reckoned with. I am a little bit of everything, thanks to him.
I hope to be able to repay the favor to another one day.

[Reply]

By Eden on 06.05.09 11:54 pm | Permalink

Perception is often wrong.

As I look back over my life, I know that.

To me, growing up was a lonely road filled with people. Never truly alone, but in spirit, no one ever truly there.

Until second grade.

Amy Frasier moved in. She befriended me. Smiled at me. Laughed with me, not at me.
She gave me something I longed for.

And then she was gone.

Her family moved away before the year ended.

To this day, I feel her loss.
I long to know where she is. What she has done with her life.

All these years later, I think about her.

I know now that there were others who loved me, but at the time, I knew Amy did.

[Reply]

By Sarah on 06.06.09 4:47 pm | Permalink

Thanks you guys for your comments.

Laying on the sofa he smiled as his granddaughters played barber shop with him.

My grandpa Gene had gone blind a few years earlier and had to leave his farm and move back to the city. The only thing that seemed to make him happy was when his grand kids would come over and play with him.

He would cuddle me when he would lay down for his nap, not having a father it felt good to have him hold me. He would ask for kisses on his check and as we would lean in to kiss him he would turn his head so we kissed his lips. We would all giggle every time he did that.

My mom took me to my aunt Shauna’s house, I knew my grandpa wasn’t doing so well. As I played with my cousins the front door opened and my Uncle came in the room. He looked at all us kids. The smiles fading from our faces he told us that my grandpa had just passed away.

The loss that we felt was not spoken, but the games ended and I went off on my own to cry.

[Reply]

By Brenna on 06.08.09 10:46 am | Permalink

This is the day that my brother Daniel died.

Asleep in my bed I heard my door open with a sad voice I heard my brother speak. “Sara get up.”

I found his voice annoying that I just ignored it. He spoke once again saying the same words. “Sara get up.” This time i answered him back.

“No.” I was to tired to even have the motive to wake up. I then heard the words that shattered my heart and repeated in my head like a broken record. “Sara, Daniel died.”

I jumped out of bed not even realizing what was happening. The next 5 minutes went in slow motion for me. Though in slow motion I dont remember feeling a thing as I walked up those stairs slowly.

The door to Daniels room was closed. I turn the knob with a horrified expression. Daniels room was a white. A solumn color. On the bed in the corner of the room was my big brother. His frail body lay in still motion.

I looked towards the chair that my mom sat in that was close to the door. My mother looked numb, she may have been in shock, I wouldn’t know.

Finally my mother spoke and told us that men from the morge was going to pick Daniel up. I have no idea what happened between that when my mom spoke and the time that the men showed up. The words that they said will forever stay in my mind. “We will take care of him as though he were our son.”

When they at last walked out the door all the emotions came at once. What one was overpowering was anger. I was mad that I lost my best friend, my only friend.

I was not the only one in my family that finally broke down. Chris was by the window when Daniel left in the black bag. When that door shut, Chris fell to his knees. My mom standing behind him walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

The rest of the day was a blur. I do not remember a thing. All I know was that, that morning I will never forget losing Daniel.

[Reply]

By Sara Whitchurch on 07.17.09 7:21 pm | Permalink

Sara, losing a brother is so very difficult. I remember the phone call telling me that my younger brother Michael had been killed in a car accident. My heart stopped.
I pray that if you haven’t yet, you find peace.

[Reply]

By Sarah on 07.20.09 10:41 am | Permalink