Comments on: My EYES are killing me! http://giveagirlapen.com/exercise-in-writing/my-eyes-are-killing-me She'll write a book to go with it... Sat, 04 Sep 2010 23:40:10 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Gunnisac Sandersons http://giveagirlapen.com/exercise-in-writing/my-eyes-are-killing-me/comment-page-1#comment-4 Gunnisac Sandersons Sat, 24 Jan 2009 04:44:00 +0000 http://giveagirlapen.com/?p=8#comment-4 I really don't think it's wrong. Who really talks like that. If you are writting from an English professors point of view then heck yeah you are all wrong. But from Jack and Rose. I mean come on does anyone really sit back besides this one guy and say, your book sucks because you used eyes? Anyway, that is my opinion! I really don’t think it’s wrong. Who really talks like that. If you are writting from an English professors point of view then heck yeah you are all wrong. But from Jack and Rose. I mean come on does anyone really sit back besides this one guy and say, your book sucks because you used eyes? Anyway, that is my opinion!

]]> By: ElanaJ http://giveagirlapen.com/exercise-in-writing/my-eyes-are-killing-me/comment-page-1#comment-3 ElanaJ Thu, 22 Jan 2009 05:09:00 +0000 http://giveagirlapen.com/?p=8#comment-3 I'm not sure "wrong" is the right word to describe sentences such as these. I would probably change them though, especially if you're writing speculative fiction where weird things like eyes falling out could really happen! Gotta be careful with that.<br/><br/>Like this one: "His eyes trailed the ground in front of us." You could simply say, "He wouldn't look at me." or "He studied the ground like it was the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen." Yanno?<br/><br/>This one: "His eyes drilled a hole in the floor." Could be: "His cold stare could've drilled a hole through sheetrock." (Hey! I did use that line in a novel once! :D ) or again, "He wouldn't look at me." How nerve-wracking is that? When someone won't look at you, either out of guilt or shame or just because you've done something bad and they can't look at you? It's powerful, yet simple. <br/><br/>Interesting topic. I'm with Ray on this one, but I write stories with magic, so... :) I’m not sure “wrong” is the right word to describe sentences such as these. I would probably change them though, especially if you’re writing speculative fiction where weird things like eyes falling out could really happen! Gotta be careful with that.

Like this one: “His eyes trailed the ground in front of us.” You could simply say, “He wouldn’t look at me.” or “He studied the ground like it was the most fascinating thing he’d ever seen.” Yanno?

This one: “His eyes drilled a hole in the floor.” Could be: “His cold stare could’ve drilled a hole through sheetrock.” (Hey! I did use that line in a novel once! :D ) or again, “He wouldn’t look at me.” How nerve-wracking is that? When someone won’t look at you, either out of guilt or shame or just because you’ve done something bad and they can’t look at you? It’s powerful, yet simple.

Interesting topic. I’m with Ray on this one, but I write stories with magic, so… :)

]]> By: Sarah Jensen http://giveagirlapen.com/exercise-in-writing/my-eyes-are-killing-me/comment-page-1#comment-2 Sarah Jensen Tue, 20 Jan 2009 21:29:00 +0000 http://giveagirlapen.com/?p=8#comment-2 I do see Ray's point. I wonder if I do this, and will go check. <br/>I'm also stuck in the middle. <br/>On the one hand, it's not possible for these things to happen. On the other, a lot of people use these and so does that make it okay?<br/>No real answer, but maybe someone else can. I do see Ray’s point. I wonder if I do this, and will go check.
I’m also stuck in the middle.
On the one hand, it’s not possible for these things to happen. On the other, a lot of people use these and so does that make it okay?
No real answer, but maybe someone else can.

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