“It almost felt as if…”
“I somehow thought it was…”
“I think it might be…”
“You are right, perhaps…..”
Do any of your characters talk like this, or perhaps the narrator?
If they do, it is time to figure out why they lack assertion. In all cases other than writing about a teenager coming into his or her own, or a character one of whose traits is that he or she lacks confidence, you need to weed out words like perhaps, almost, possibly, maybe, somehow and so on. These are indefinite modifiers. If used in excess they can make your writing weak, surround it in a cloud of vagueness, make it less crisp.
If you notice you tend to use such words, try doing without them for an entire page. Compare it with a page that is riddled by these modifiers.
What do you see?
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6 Comments so far
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Hmmm. Good point. I’ll have to check out my work and look for these.
[Reply]
By Liz on 04.13.09 9:37 pm | Permalink
Ohhhhhh I do this in the first draft! I think it’s because I’m unsure of the story so I make my characters that way too ha!
[Reply]
By jamie on 04.13.09 9:52 pm | Permalink
I bet I do that a lot in IN THE DARK. I don’t think I do it as bad in Surviving, but I’ll check. You are dead on. Thanks for the fabulous tip!
[Reply]
By Sarah Jensen on 04.14.09 1:09 am | Permalink
Boy. I really need to work on this. I just did a search on my manuscript to remove a bunch. The worst offender:
He sat almost precisely two feet away and handed her a bottle of water.
Almost precisely? WHAT!?!?!? How did that get through the previous edits?
[Reply]
By Joyce on 04.14.09 9:37 am | Permalink
I think we all do this to some extent in our first drafts.
The idea is to look out for these while revising, because doing so helps tauten the prose.
[Reply]
By damyanti on 04.14.09 9:53 pm | Permalink
Great advice. I think I use them because I am lacking confidence in my writing.
[Reply]
By Brenna on 04.15.09 12:07 pm | Permalink
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