When FBI Agent, Drew Sidorova, takes a man over a cliff with her, saving her life temporally from the men who killed her partner, she hopes surviving the jungle of the Amazon will be the least of her problems.
She finds herself attracted to the mysterious man, praying that he is not one of the bad guys she’s worked the last year to bring down. But as it turns out, he’s DEA, and possibly responsible for her partner’s death.
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3 Comments so far
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Okay, this is good… but there was a LOT going on in the first sentence… and then I was like wha?!? Amazon?
But, this is a GOOD hook.
.-= Jamie´s last blog ..Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-10-04 =-.
[Reply]
By Jamie on 10.04.09 12:58 pm | Permalink
I agree with Jamie. It’s a good hook. If I was into books dealing with Amazon settings – this would totally catch my attention. It’s the second sentence that comes flying at you out of nowhere though.
You go from: “takes a man over a cliff with her (AWESOME), saving her life temporally (spelling?) from the men who killed her partner” to “But as it turns out, he’s DEA, and possibly responsible for her partner’s death.” So she saved the life of her partner’s killer?
I think if you could take out the first sentence of the second paragraph, it would be tighter and less confusing.
Great job though!
That is what confuses me. I’m sure there are d
[Reply]
By Steena on 10.04.09 9:54 pm | Permalink
Not much that hasn’t been said already – I’ve got to be faster about this.
Very exciting, but a little confusing, especially the second sentence.
The first sentence is great, though the “Amazon jungle” bit is a little out-of-nowhere, and the whole thing could probably be tightened. Even just saying “Amazon jungle” instead of “jungle of the Amazon,” for example, would keep you from having two “of” phrases in a row. Also, I’m pretty sure you meant “saving her life temporarily.” Really, though, I think you could just say, “saving herself from the men . . .”
Also, I was a little thrown by the end of the first sentence. She hopes the jungle will be the least of her worries? Does she hope she’ll have bigger problems?
But overall, great hook! Good luck with it!
[Reply]
By Anica Lewis on 10.08.09 2:29 pm | Permalink
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