Hook::
Visions of another dimension usher a young woman through an adventure of immorality, virtue, and self-discovery.
Pitch::Intense visionary dreams transport Alexis to Avalon, the unseen world of faeries.
Until recently, she believed the stories that Night told her of these magnificent creatures were simply her overactive imagination. The tales are now entering a darker, depraved realm, and are creeping into her days.
She finds her visions are real—intended to prepare her for the truth.
The reason she’s felt so different since she was a child….
She was born into Avalon, yet raised by unknowing humans.
But now it’s time to venture back with her own kind.
A horrible evil has been brewing—waiting just for her.
Something is killing people and Alexis is the only one who can stop it.
While attempting to do so, and learn her new place in the universe, she discovers more than she wishes to know of her true self. The nature of faeries is to test the limits and mess with the balance.
Will she be able to stay strong and save the humans?
And what will she do when she finds the way to protect them means subjecting some of her own to a horrible death? She must choose between her two worlds. Which is the right choice?
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3 Comments so far
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Okay, there’s a hook here…
But… it’s pretty generic. I want you to tell me how THIS story is different than the piles and piles of other paranormal on an agent’s desk.
.-= Jamie´s last blog ..Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-10-04 =-.
[Reply]
By Jamie on 10.04.09 12:57 pm | Permalink
I love the pitch – now hook me with it!
I’d totally love to read this story!
[Reply]
By Steena on 10.04.09 10:01 pm | Permalink
The tension and plot are definitely clear. Still, I have to say that I agree with Jamie – the pitch needs some individual touches to show that the story isn’t the same as a lot of others.
I like the faeries-as-agents-of-chaos element, which reminds me of Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell.
This is a nitpick, but I was confused for awhile about the stories that Night told her. It’s poetic, but if they’re dreams, maybe you could be clearer about that. If they’re something else, you definitely need to explain them.
I’m also not sure about the very last sentence. We assume she wants to make the right choice, and that she isn’t sure which one that is. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be a dilemna. Ending with a question could work well here, but try to find one that tells us something we didn’t know or presents the problem in a new light – e.g. something it means to Alexis personally.
[Reply]
By Anica Lewis on 10.08.09 2:17 pm | Permalink
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