I can understand feeling hesitant about letting others, especially your parents, read how you’ve written a sex scene. It’s so intimate. My mother once sniggered at the fact my youngest daughter had been conceived while she was visiting my home until I promptly reminded her I am a grown woman and not a child. That shut her up quickly.

It’s not so much worrying about what others might think of what you write, it’s more about YOU being comfortable enough to write it. Don’t hide your talent, and certainly don’t be ashamed or afraid to tell your mother you spend your free time writing . . .
Lis Garrett´s last blog ..This Week In Writing

[Reply]

By Lis Garrett on 11.10.09 7:31 am | Permalink

Welcome to the site!

I haven’t run into this – I write YA and middle-grade fantasy and have not, so far, written any explicit sex scenes.

I wonder whether writing teachers and professors have similar issues. I recently read a book written by a professor I had for two fantastic semesters of Advanced Fiction Writing – and the book had a couple of sex scenes, one of them pretty detailed. I didn’t comment on those specifically to the professor, but I told him I liked the relationship between two of those characters, which would probably make some people feel awkward.

[Reply]

By Anica Lewis on 11.11.09 9:59 am | Permalink

My mom is laid back and cool. She loves sex and taught me that it’s a sacred pleasure. She reads romance, though since taking care of her parents, hasn’t read much in a while.
So, she’s not the one I worry about.
I don’t want my dad or sister reading some of my stuff. And I will tone it down in the editing.
My sis in law (Liz) reads everything I write. She’s my biggest help and best friend. And she’ll help me tone my stuff down to a comfortable point that I don’t mind others reading it.
So, Mom, no. Dad, yes.

[Reply]

By Sarah on 11.12.09 12:03 pm | Permalink

Glad you brought this up, KC!

I write under a pseudonym for a reason (your topic being closely related to it). Though I write YA, some scenes do get relatively spicy and action-filled. My mother would not have easily approved and certain family members still living will surely take at least some small issue with my content (since I write paranormal). *shrug*

At this point I have to shake free of that doubt. Book 1 debuts in June and I’ve stayed true to my characters’ voices. That’s the best I, as a writer, can hope to do, I think.

~Shannon Delany

[Reply]

By Shannon Delany on 11.19.09 3:42 pm | Permalink

Thanks everyone for making me welcome here and commenting on my new post. I love all your responses. I think Shannon said it best. “I’ve stayed true to my characters’ voice. That’s the best I, as a writer, can hope to do.”
I have been surprised to find that writing is more intimate then I first realized. But I also think it’s a good thing if you are a little scared during the process. It means you tapped into something real.

[Reply]

By KC Klein on 11.19.09 6:35 pm | Permalink

Wow, I missed this post earlier! Great one! My mom wouldn’t have minded. (Just passed away last feb.) But my grandmothers are to be worried about.
Both are religious ladies and I’ve told them both that I write parnormal romance and that as per the genre it requires steamy love scenes and things that go bump in the night–in more ways than one =)
Grandma on dad’s side likely won’t read my books, but granda on mom’s side….well, one night I was on the phone with her and a wee bit tipsy and told her about my plot and characters. She said, “I want to read it!”
The thought of grandma reading sex scenes I wrote makes me want to squirm, so I told her I’d give her a copy with those scenes blacked out lol.
But my whole family has been very supportive of my budding writing career and I am eternally grateful.
If my dad reads my book? I’m so not ready to go there!

[Reply]

By Annarkie on 12.02.09 11:38 pm | Permalink

Bad news – my mother is really unsupportive of my writing.

Worse news – she refuses to read any of my work until it’s published.

Good news – that means she never read the trunk novel with the steamy sex scenes.

Better news – I now write YA, so the steamy sex isn’t really an issue anymore.

I totally get the mom issues.

[Reply]

By Julie K on 12.03.09 8:36 am | Permalink

Great post, KC! I hear you on the mom thing… my mother is one of my beta readers… i’ve been known to eliminate the sex scenes so that she doesn’t feel so uncomfy. She know’s they are there though, and has asked that I write under a pen name when the time comes. sigh.

[Reply]

By Tes Hilaire on 12.07.09 3:37 pm | Permalink