What’s Love Got To Do With It?

“Quirk-fo-tainment”

The Broken HeartAfter watching an episode of “Chowder” called my ‘My Big Fat Stinky Wedding’ [which airs on Cartoon Network]…it hit me. For days, I had been agonizing over what my entries should be about and how it should color me as a writer/author/poet who wanted to flex her lingual wings. Luckily, “Chowder” saved the moment! I will attempt to keep these pieces in the style of “Quirk-fo-tainment” thus taking the everyday quirky moments, tying it with hot world topics and sprinkling it with poetic interludes. Can you dig it? I hope you can…

So, “Chowder” is a purple cat personified with childlike qualities who is the apprentice of Chief Mung Daal. Mung owns a catering company in [fictional] Marzipan City! For a complete line up of these groovy characters, feel free to check out The Chowder Episode by clicking on the link! On a personal note, Chowder is my favorite.

Oddly enough, the cartoon grasped my attention about marriage. The ups, the downs, the “what fors”, those denied the opportunity, the laws, the rules, the sanctity and the [in]sanity of it all. Coupled with the overlapping conversations with my “bestie’ on the subject matter [which has also brought her to near regurgitation when seeing and or hearing the word “marriage”] I’m left torn. As someone who once entertained the thought of the ceremony, the dress, the vows and the partnership, I feel like it’s really not worth the song and dance. With divorce rates continuing to rise over “irreconcilable differences” and each party moving on with the remains of the relationship in U-Hauls and therapy sessions dashed with legal jargon, it seems like marriage is a merger that is bad for business. Is it possible for a “couple” to be committed to each another for many years without the ceremonial stamp? If so, why is marriage so important? Aside from the tax implications, if the “love” is more than a “second hand emotion” does shackling the verbal promises in rings and signatures on the dotted lines put a band-aid on loneliness?

To try to obtain clarity on the topic, I shall leave you with a Tanka:

“I Do”, “You Do” and

still left holding uneasy

thoughts for the next day…

Vows left at the alter can

alter the happy ending!

Ehh…cartoons are teachable moments :) So, for all those writers out there [and lovers of writers], how would a character in your realm respond. What quips or words of advice could be rendered in your character’s soliloquy/monologue?

~Confectionately Yours,


9 Comments so far
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Tamesha!
I like this article. Like you, I have had quite a few “Aha” moments from watching cartoons. Marriage started out as a business deal, then we decided to make it about love and procreation and now, I think as a species we are at a loss as to the “why” of it all. No longer do we need to join two homesteads to ensure prosperity, there are too many children already n the world and many of us chicks are done being breed mares so rather than wait for society as a collective to continually define this age-old institution, it is now up to us to individually come up with plausible reasons to be or not to be married

[Reply]

Thank you Ify for your comment! As a society, I believe that we have a need for everything to be tangible…like having proof, ie “See, I am devoted to her/him” and the proof would be the marriage certificate or engagement rings. Is it because we really don’t believe the promises we make to one another that a paper trail is necessary?
TameshaH´s last blog ..Singles Scene with Erica Brooke

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I have to completely and vehemently disagree. In a world where promises mean little, there is one commitment that should still mean something: that between a husband and wife, a bond that unites them more than “signatures on the dotted lines.” In unison with that, the ability to bring life into this world is a precious gift that most have taken for granted for a few moments of illicit pleasure. The woman who considers herself a “breed mare” has lost the essence of her femininity and, more importantly, the identity essential to who she is.

It is tragic that many hold the opinion that marriage means nothing. If you view it like that, it will mean absolutely nothing. The degeneration of the world is integrally tied to the dissolution of family bonds. Fix the family and you can fix the world.

Call me naive, call me whatever you want, but I fear for children who grow up in a world where marriage means little more than a convenience. People need to take it more seriously if they ever expect to find real love.

I feel sorry for any who are jaded enough to ignore these basic truths. Life loses meaning without them.
Michelle´s last blog ..The Maze Runner

[Reply]

I completely agree Michelle. My husbands parents are still together, mine are still together, and my husband and I are also–of course–still together. Marriage isn’t easy, but love is what makes it work. The idea that love isn’t a part of that importance makes me sad :(
Jamie´s last blog ..We Went To The Pumpkin Patch Today

[Reply]

Cool beans, Michelle! Your opinions are most welcome…so no worries :) As a youth who watched her father break promises to her mother only to see a marriage dissipate like a very bad motion picture without any credits to roll across the screen, I don’t feel I am jaded, just conscious of a different perspective. For whom marriage works for, I can respect that but in truth they are the minority…a select percentage that the institution affords luxury of comfortability. I also feel that it can be a double edged sword. It is easy in the beginning to create vows in hopes, wishes and prayers that “til death do us part” will be the final separation. What if working through it can’t save it and the other partner has given up? I have been around folks that have said “well, that’s the chance you take!” Why is it fair for an institution of this elevated caliber be able to have “chances” but confined folks with definite rules?

In addition, individuals who wish to be dedicated to each other, the chances and the rules of “marriage” how come the institution denies entry to same sex couples? I mention this because of your statement :In a world where promises mean little, there is one commitment that should still mean something: that between a husband and wife, a bond that unites them more than “signatures on the dotted lines.” If a husband and husband, wife and wife wish to submit to decree, why deny them the opportunity?

I look forward to your thoughts.

Thanks ever so :)
TameshaH´s last blog ..Singles Scene with Erica Brooke

[Reply]

Hey Jamie…I tip my hat to you, your parents and your husbands parents. It is beautiful to hear about those couples who get to celebrate 50th anniversaries and beyond because you can “see” the love, dedication and the determination to love…the original vow. But when looking at divorce rates, it leaves one thinking “where is the love” and “you broke the the promise”.
TameshaH´s last blog ..Singles Scene with Erica Brooke

[Reply]

That people who respect and commit to marriage is a minority is a travesty, one that will have innumerable impacts as time progresses. If a person does not follow through with their promises in marriage, the problem lies with the individual and not the institution.

A high divorce rate indicates, not that marriage is broken, but that people as a whole do not take their promises seriously. Say what you will about people “falling out of love.” It is a fallacy that people aren’t meant to be committed for life. It takes effort, determination, and more than a little bit of selflessness to maintain a lasting marriage, but the end rewards are more than worth it.

Homes are torn apart and children devastated whenever parents divorce. That has never been the intent of marriage and hurts everyone involved. It should not be the status quo, and yet sadly people let it be that way.

As for gay marriage, I would rather not break out that debate since sides are so polarized. Fighting and arguing will not change minds, especially with the vitriol that many on both sides throw at each other. I will say this: I know many gay individuals and love them all dearly. I know that gay marriage will soon be legalized across the nation and the world. While I do not agree with the principle, I accept its inevitability. But those who proclaim that love is all that matters fail to consider that the overarching and irrevocable nature of sex is to create life, no matter that it has been trivialized into an animalistic act. Without the ability to create life, the nature of sex is changed from its original purpose.

And finally, I wonder how this topic relates at all to writing, as that is what I understand the intent of this site to be.
Michelle´s last blog ..Love has everything to do with it

[Reply]

Writing is an open subject matter, its not concrete. I write poetry, I write rhyme and I write prose and try to take those concepts (frameworks if you will)and tie it with world issues and quirky fun happenings. As an International author/writer/performance poet, I respect the craft of expansion and not just for writing for writing sake. With MY writing, I would like to spark dialog between a variety of people. Doing such helps me listen to viewpoints of others and expand my horizons on many things. As a fellow girl with a pen, I had hoped such would be understood. My pieces (present and upcoming) are not to get individuals upset. With my pen, I hope to open individuals eyes to the various sides of anything and everything. Its alright that you disagree and I enjoyed reading what you had to share on the piece.

Peace, Writing and Poetry :)
TameshaH´s last blog ..Singles Scene with Erica Brooke

[Reply]

Amen, Michelle. I am in one hundred percent agreement here. Marriage, as with other things in life, is a matter of priorities and your willingness to work. It is not easy, but it is so worth it if you work hard and put forth the effort.
I do not feel this forum is the proper place for this debate, but I will let this post stand.

[Reply]

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